Animal husbandry just got taken to a whole new level. How touching!

Who knew that butterflies could be so beautiful and distinct? Or that they could spell out the alphabet?

I bagged up when I saw this collection of rap terms. I scoped around until I was sholda than shore that it was something worth peeping (i.e., not wack). Word.

Fox News, the home of hypersensitivity, almost sued The Simpsons because it was parodying Fox News. Crazy!

It’s that time of year again—Halloween—and I’ve got two suggestions for your carving needs: 1) the Jesus O’Lantern and 2) look really hard for a pumpkin that has any sort of Virgin Mary-looking disfigurements.

OMG! And I thought the presidential action figures were bad: this is so much worse. As if the fact of an Ann Coulter action figure wasn’t enough, it talks. What would be ironic is if, once started, it never shut up.

Meat hats: they’re all the rage in Paris and San Antonio.

Fun little Flash game: Fishy

Remember those lame PSAs at the end of every episode of G.I. Joe? Someone’s redone the voiceovers and they’re sometimes funny and sometimes just plain strange. But they’re always better than the originals.

YOU’RE OF COURSE FAMILIAR WITH THE DRAFT WESLEY CLARK WEB SITE OUT THERE IN WHICH GENERAL WESLEY CLARK OSTENSIBLY WAS COMPELLED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT. THERE’S A NEW FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH—EVEN THOUGH HE HASN’T ANNOUNCED YET: DRAFT WESLEY CRUSHER. THIS TIME HE’LL GIVE THE ORDERS AROUND HERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

[NOTE: THIS ENTRY IS IN HONOR OF INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY. YOU DID BAKE A CAKE OR SOMETHING, DIDN’T YOU?]

Cool pictures of things happening at high speeds. With the bullets flying and the cards splitting and the tomatoes exploding and the flaven.

I can only picture the conversation that preceded this memo: “I want you to create a brief about sushi dining options in NYC, focusing specifically on sashimi. I want independent research; I want you to show me how much you learned in law school.”

“I would hope you find the attached helpful in choosing the restaurant from which your dinner will be ordered on a going-forward basis.” Indeed.

It’s hard to call them “action” figures—especially George W. Bush, whose main action seems to be vacationing at his ranch in Texas—but these presidential action figures are pretty neat. If presidents aren’t your cup of tea, maybe you should have an action figure made of yourself, a librarian, or a Biblical figure. Man, when I was a kid, all I had were Star Wars figures though they were sometimes very strange.

Peeps Bus, do not forsake me! When will you come nigh? Not October, not November, not December. Peeps Bus, wherefore art thou!

How can ants survive in a microwave oven? The New Scientist has the answer.

If you need to keep up with any street lingo regarding drugs, the White House has got you covered.

Inspired by the BBC’s show The Office, BBC Learning developed a Flash game where you try to throw balls of paper into a wastebasket while taking the breeze from a circulating fan into account. Strangely addictive, though I suck big time.

“There are so many other tasty animals.”

A crazy judge put her ruling in a court case involving Eminem in the form of a rap. Lordy, I hope that’s not grounds for an appeal. The BBC has the full verse. Dat’s one wack judge MC.

I’m sure that most victims would want five minutes alone with their attackers. One guy inadvertently got exactly that.

Larry sent me a link to the Creation Science Fair yesterday. I saw it a long time ago and laughed my ass off about it. I neglected to post it then because I was sure that I had already linked to it.

A quick search of the archives for both bblog and Found on the Web indicates that I hadn’t. What an oversight! So here it is. Well, it’s actually a couple of sentences ago. So click already.

The Unemployed Philosopher’s Guild has created a Nietzsche’s Will to Power Bar—just what every übermensch needs when energy is waning.

While that’s funny, what’s even funnier is that there’s such a thing as the Unemployed Philosopher’s Guild!

WatchMeDance highlights the gyrations of thedanceman in all their glory. See him get jiggy near a Jeep, get down with his bad self near innocent (and confused) bystanders, and shake his groove thang with a lady. Oh, or you can watch the other 42 episodes available online in a variety of formats.

There’s also plenty of pictures that would look great as your wallpaper or desktop.

The Public Library of Science is dedicated to making scientific and medical literature available for free. Super cool. Now I can finally find out how the genome-wide RNAi of C. elegans using the hypersensitive rrf-3 strain reveals novel gene functions. I can’t wait for the movie!

Dante Lamb is an “abstract” artist. He’s done over 100 paintings in the last two years. Art critics are likening him to some of the best contemporary artists. One of his most recent works is entitled “Double Poopsy.” Oh yeah, he’s 3. Give me a freaking break! I’ve seen a lot of three-year-old-produced art in my time. It’s usually on refrigerators.

But I guess if an elephant and a cat can do it, so can a toddler.

Michaelangelo’s making a comeback! Oh yeah.

Wow, talk about your overreaction. She should’ve just stopped at the verbal abuse and chasing the kid around—shoving the hot fries into the kid’s face was excessive.

All it’s missing are the blades.

Whoa. What’s scary isn’t necessarily that they’re doing this, but that they’re aware of such things in the first place. I’m pretty sure that I knew nothing about sex in middle school—I went more by the pretty face than anything else.

Jeb Bush has offered The Fan asylum in Florida. A local radio station here noted that he would be a shoo-in for a Southwest Airlines ad in their series “Want to get away?” Heheh.

They’re quite a bit ahead of us in mobile phone technology, but they’re light-years ahead of us in vending machine technology. We don’t even have machine-dispensed seafood and they’ve got lobsters.

What do you do when you want to be the next Tony Hawk but you don’t have a skateboard or the time to learn all them fancy moves using one? Take up freestyle walking, natch. All you need are shoes, though I suppose that’s optional too. Don’t expect a lot of respect, however.

The Smoking Gun‘s got thirteen pages of New York City tollbooth complaints. I’m glad I don’t have to put up with anything like this here in the PHX.

Great article on eating out and how to do it better. In ‘n’ Out‘s not going to know what hit them!

There’s a inventory of future cars up over at MSN. I’ve got my eye on that Gallardo.

Fight the power.

That’s a world record I’d be comfortable with letting stand.

Probably not the best idea.

Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters

Talk about stupid pet tricks. I hate Nazis as much as the next guy, but that’s a little crazy.

They probably should have waited a little longer.

HowToons are a great way to get kids interested in science and engineering. They’re one-sheet cartoons that describe an experiment to conduct or a project to build. And they’re neat experiments and projects like how to build a sled using a skateboard or how to count in binary using your hands.

Now that’s poetic justice!

This restaurant in Evanston, Illinois sounds amazing.

Want to break up with someone but you don’t want all the emotional drama that comes with doing it in person? Send an e-card. I like the one that says “I should’ve listened to my friends.”

Looking for a new house? You might want to consider owning a piece of the peace dividend by purchasing a renovated missile silo. I could say something cheesy about how it’s out of this world or how it’s a blast, but that’s beneath me. Surprisingly.

Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Baby Got Back has been translated into Latin. As Quayle might say, this will come in handy when you’re down in Latin America.

[UPDATE (10/14/03): Great googly moogly! Here it is in Greek, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, and Engrish. Cool.]

Here’s the Star Wars theme beat boxed.

Okay, the bags are packed. We’ve got one for Annie’s birth and a much smaller one for Kimberly’s. There’s still a couple of sundries to purchase, but that’s slated for today’s errands.

On the Sandi front: more cramps, more discomfort, more irregular contractions.

Apocalypse Cartoons is a Flash animation site that has something to offend everyone: either Father Tucker the Child F***er (a toon about a Catholic priest’s adventures with the younger members of his flock) and Premie Petey the Living Abortion (a toon about the adventures of an aborted fetus). There’s another toon—EGOT—that was designed to piss off Phillip Michael Thomas, so that one’s pretty safe for the rest of you. Enjoy! Or get really incensed. Whichever.

It’s only one more day until the 25th Annual Turkey Testicle Festival gets underway. As they say, “Don’t forget to get your order of Turkey Testicles.”

Ghost signs are those advertisements painted directly on the sides of buildings before the advent of billboards that have since faded with the passage of time. Tempe still has a bunch of these on Mill Ave. I should probably document them some day.

What does $87 billion look like? This.

Beautiful photographs of ghost towns at night.

Parents of several Oak Park, Illinois children are suing the school district because they installed an 802.11b wireless network in their schools. The shocking thing is that these networks produce one-thirtieth the power of a cordless phone, which operates on the same frequency. I’ll bet those parents have put their children’s heads next to a cordless phone without ever thinking of the irreparable damage they’re inflicting. The full text of the lawsuit is available online.

The Greatest Myths, Hoaxes, and Mysteries in Astronomy and Space Science: good reading.

Where were you two years ago?

Guy gets repeated calls from a crazy, drunk guy, records them, and puts them up on his web site for the world’s amusement.

Simpsons Movie Quiz: I got 12 of the 21. Pathetic.

Trek-Wars: Kirk versus Picard.

Rapid-fire, funny article linkage to follow:

• Injured Boy’s Family Blames Walgreen’s: Walgreen’s mistakenly filled a boy’s Ritalin prescription with methadone aka synthetic heroin—woops!
• Man Poisons Reservoir: A Chinese water-purifier salesman poisoned a local water reservoir to get over a sales slump—I guess the Chinese haven’t quite gotten capitalism down pat yet.
• Brothers Drown in Underground Pipe: Two brothers decided to SCUBA dive in an underground pipe and died, posthumous Darwin Awards are forthcoming.
• Four Print Counterfeit Million-Dollar Bills: 500 were circulated? 500 were circulated! Who’s that stupid?
• Robert Frost’s Home Vandalized with Anti-Recall Graffiti: I hope the vandal wasn’t hoping to influence the election since Robert Frost’s home is in New Hampshire. Maybe he was on vacation…
• Teenager in Trouble in Inhaler Incident: A high school guy helped his girlfriend, who was having an asthma attack, by letting her use his inhaler; he was arrested and suspended, of course.
• 15 Ft. Godzilla: Made of popcorn. Wha?
• AFLAC Billboard Prompts 911 Call: People are so dumb; we had a lady call the fire department because our heating system at work was producing steam.
• Two Arrests Made in Illegal Gambling Case: Months of undercover surveillance were needed to bust a candy shop that had and sold no candy? Is this detective makework? Is the Raymond, NH precinct unionized?
• Woman Dies on Drawbridge:Let’s see, Thursday night. Did the bridge tender have a TV? Was he watching Survivor? Busted!

Reading this court decision, I can’t help but wonder: wouldn’t you notice that there’s water over here, but none over there? Unfortunate accident, though completely avoidable.

Loads of interesting material on famous trials throughout history. If you didn’t find what you’re looking for, the author suggests that you use a search engine and he personally recommends Google—though it’s “not a paid ad” (I figured that Google would pay big bucks for such placement).

My day is complete: I have found the online home for the 1967 Camaro that was in the smash hit movie Better Off Dead. The site also features fascinating facts about the car and its role in the movie.

First reported case of mallard necrophilia.

Describing herself as “making the transition from attorney to artist”, the purveyor of WeirdGardens.com certainly shows that it’s going to be a long transition. Detritus and junk strewn about your yard does not an artist make. If it did, then there’s whole neighborhoods of artists about 15 minutes away from where I’m typing this right now.

I thought it was just the stuff of Simpsons episodes (mp3), but apparently many people can’t find the ANY key to press.

Think it’s hard to remember life’s little key combinations like Ctrl-Alt-Delete or CMD-SHIFT-4? It could have been worse, my friend. It could have been much worse.

Web-enable your sprinkler system: now you can never forget to water the lawn while on vacation.

Make any site Snoop Doggy-rific with the Shizzolator®. Here’s Found on the Web post-Shizzolation.

MugShots.com bills itself as the “biggest directory of mugshots on the Internet.” This apparently is not as big of a claim as it sounds.

MILT is a funny parody of gun control sites.

Got to remember to check out my library for DVD easter eggs.

Extreme Pumpkins: I especially liked the puke o’lantern.

If you want to know how to solve Rubik’s cube, this is the place for you. The guy’s average of 10 best solution times is 21.88 seconds. That’s seconds, people! I’ve spent 21.88 days and never solved the damn thing.

Infographics rock! Before he went on a tangent, Paul Nixon was a good source, too.

MindHead’s secrets revealed: I hope I don’t get sued for linking to that site.

Whack-A-Goth: you know you want to.

I think that after several stages of venture capital funding and the reduction in staff in order to reduce operating costs CelebrityDeathBeeper.com might turn a profit this year or at least be able to hold on a little longer.

Language Removal Services offers up a language-free version of the California gubernatorial debate.

Celebrities without makeup: no cold sores for some reason.

Adorable.

With signs like “32,000 Dead and I’m still paying $2.29 for unleaded.” and “Dear America, Thanks for all the money, sorry about your kids—Halliburton Oil”, someone in Southern California is having a lot of fun.

Ceci n’est pas une poème malheureuse.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck? I bet you’re thinking, “He’s found a page that answers that age-old mystery. By Jove, Found on the Web has finally paid off for me. Where’s my bowling ball?” Well, actually, I’ve found a page that describes how to go about answering that perennial question. And you should probably check your closet or under your bed.

This picture amuses me considerably. [Suggestive Landform Alert]

Top Ten Naughty Games: the write-ups are hilarious. [NSFW]

I think this is serious. If it is, then it’s seriously weird. How do you practice? How do you get better?

Looking for enlightenment? Keep looking.

TCP/IP has now been implemented via bongos at a blistering (literally?) rate of 2 baud. Why? Why not.

BYOBW: hilarity ensues. [25 mb QuickTime movie]